logicandjeans

I don't know if you can ever really appreciate the reality of having a baby until you get pregnant. The want for a baby is an entirely different thing. When you're actually pregnant though there's this knowledge that the decision is now made and there's no turning back anymore. Your lives will be changing forever.  It's a pretty scary thought and easy for your mind to say 'Oh no, what have I done'.

It doesn't mean that the want for a baby wasn't real. That want is still there, but it's buried under fear.  When it's not reality, the negatives to your choice just aren't there and there are only positives. There is no morning sickness, there is no gaining weight and putting pressure on your sore back and there is no tiny little baby at the end that is yours to care for. There are so many things to prepare for. The whole house needs to be cleaned and prepared. The baby needs a room...

It's so strange to think that a human is growing inside me, a tiny little human. I think the surprise of it all has some part to play in how I'm feeling as well.  You see we had been trying for a while and nothing was happening, so I gave up and wasn't thinking baby and then all of a sudden my periods were late and the home pregnancy test had two bars and then the doctor confirmed that I was pregnant and started talking options for care during pregnancy. It all seems like it's happened so fast and I haven't had a moment to sit down and really realise that I'm actually having a baby. 

There will be a little child at the end of this who Paul and I can take care of and teach and watch grow and be proud of for who they become.  That thought brings tears to my eyes. And suddenly excitement is winning again...

So, life... hmmm... well right at this moment it involves the very near prospect of hanging out the sheets that are sitting waiting patiently in the basket next to me.  The making children thing has been proving slightly more difficult... but alas they do say practice makes perfect. 

I've just been busy toddling about, getting bits of temp work, helping family members and such.  My dad had recent problems with his Parkinsons medication where it made him obsessive in lots of really bad ways - marriage ending ways, but luckily his wife found out about it being the drug and so he has been able to get off it.  Unfortunately it was the best drug for stabilizing his Parkinsons and now he has trouble walking. He fell off his bicycle last week and cracked his head open.  He was just in hospital and is ok though.

I'm starting work on Monday at a not-for-profit organisation that helps elderly people. I'll be doing reception work for three weeks. I'm kind of excited.  I had some work with that temping company last week and worked hard, so I got a great rap from the company I was working for, which makes me confident I'll get offered good jobs now... so I figure this three week one is just the start.  Money is good.

Washing calls...

Paul and I have been talking around having a baby for about a year now.  It always seems to be, we just need to get to 'this' financial stage first, or I just need to get my back right first. I was talking to my mum yesterday about how it kinda scares me and she gave some fairly obvious advice.  Just do it.  Everything else will fall into place. She said if she had thought about all that kind of stuff then she would never have had children and she's glad she did.

Talked to mum yesterday about her childhood. There was a lot I just didn't know about her.  It was kinda good to find out that stuff and realise some of the reasons why she is like she is.  I hope I helped with my advice about different kinds of intelligences. Anyway... I kinda feel blerg today. Just want to go back to sleep, even though it's lovely outside.

Ahh... well, slumpy days like today.

Hello LiveJournal!  Glee!  *ahem*  I mean gurgle. It really is too early for glee...

Last night I went out to The Good Samaritans to help pack boxes for the Christmas Children's Appeal. They are sending a little box of things to children overseas.  It was kinda strange. My job was to check each box and take out the banned items, while also endeavoring to fit everything I took out of the box back in. I think that was the hardest part.  It was lovely seeing the care some people went to to include lovely little furry toys, barbies, colouring books and other things.  I handled the 5-9 Age Girls boxes.  Some boxes you could just see the little girl treasuring.

It was exhausting work, even though it was really only a few hours. I made the mistake of going with mum. She brought a very talkative friend along and stopped at McDonalds for dinner afterwards (which she didn't tell me she was going to do beforehand).  Luckily Paul came along too. We didn't end up getting home till 12am. I'll just say that the packing went from 7pm to 10pm. *smiles*  But this is my mum and I should know by now.

Anyway, that'll do. Just got back from dropping Paul off at the train station to go to work. Breakfast is probably in order, even though I don't feel very hungry.  Hmmm..... muesli.... and tea, and maybe a bit of playing with Jasper before I need to head out.

Right, thanks for being a very nice piece of white typing area.

*waves and toddles off to prepare edibles and bring in the always entertaining doggie*

~ Rach